Miles to go before I sleep..

For 7 years of my life I was in relationships, no breaks in between. Serious, hot and heavy, long term relationships. I woke up one day alone. I had no idea how to be single. It was the most difficult time of my life. All my happiness was dependent on others. It took me 3 years to learn that life goes on and happiness is a state of mind. You will it, you choose it and so it is. You have to make yourself happy. Don’t expect people to do that for you; do it for yourself. 

Last year this time I sat down alone and wrote a bucket list of all the things I wanted to achieve in my life before I died. At the top of my list is this quote “but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep” by RF. Inspiring words!! I found that list in my wallet a few days ago and crossed off 10 of the things on it so far.

I stopped letting my life just pass me by. I am living everyday doing things I want and love to do. I am not allowing myself to dwell on past mistakes and relationships. I am not even limiting myself by telling myself I don’t have time, or I can’t or by allowing my laziness to get the best of me. One must make oneself happy. 

If your life has turned into a big routine then take up activities that would add to the quality to your life, such as, rock climbing or even baking. Start working on a project that is challenging, that will give you some sort of fulfillment and satisfaction. Keep yourself and your mind busy with things that make you happy, then you will let go of all the nonsense that has held you back. Don't forget to be thankful for your health and your life, and for the fact that you can help yourself get out of any dump. 

I promise that when you are most comfortable within your life everything else will just fall into place.   

The Rules

Over the past few years I have developed a standard set of life rules that have increased the quality and standard of my life. These are as follows:

• Workout 4 hours a week. It’s the best way to clear my mind, release my frustration, and feel sexy in my own skin.  I push myself to go to the gym even when I am tired, lazy or am having a bad day. My skin always tends to clear up when I do. My hair feels softer and shinier. I always feel like I am full of energy when I am done. I respect my body enough to know that THERE IS ALWAYS TIME FOR EXCERSIZE.

• Make a choice to eat healthy. I am not saying I never reach for that plate of French fries! I do!! But I do so in moderation, once a week I pick a treat so as not to feel like I am on a diet. I don’t allow myself to get hungry; I always have in hand tiny snacks like a hand full of nuts, or berries and yoghurt. I take a healthy goody cool box with me when I go to the beach so as not to have an excuse to eat junk. I choose a salad and am picky with the dressing when I’m at restaurants. It’s never easy to make the healthy choice. But I must admit it is absolutely worth it.

• Read. For people like me who aren’t book lovers, and who will never be a part of Oprahs book club! Reading is not something I automatically do. So I find ways to make reading more attractive to myself. I find a book that I will be able to get through. No need to be embarrassed by the books content. No matter how shameful it may be, I will find a book that will interest me!!!  I read one article a day out of a reliable newspaper and read twitter news feeds. Surprisingly, I always manage to participate in social conversations about the latest events. I believe in reading a little about a lot; a little bit out of many different topics is better then a lot about a little. In doing so my mind is more open, and aware, tolerant, accepting. Try it!

• Make time for your family and friends. If you’re the type of person that is always too busy for loved ones, don’t expect them to be around when you’re not busy! You make time for them, so that they make time for you. Don’t use your husband and kids as an excuse! Don’t use your job as an excuse! Don’t meet a guy or girl and cut out your friends and family; if you breakup I promise they will not be around to pick up the pieces.  The most important part of this rule is, when you make plans make sure they are definite plans, not maybe plans. No one wants to be your maybe plan. 

Get Organized

When I was younger no one told me how big my dreams were allowed to be or that I could be what I choose. I finally realize that they can be as big I want, and that I can choose to be whomever I wanted. Every big success started off as a big dream. Look at Bill Gates, Bethenny Frankel and Sir Richard Branson. I realized recently that my dreams are BIG!!

I have been very nervous over the past week, wondering how I will achieve the things I want. In order to get my life back on track I definitely had to get organized. I am not the type to expect things to just happen for me, miracles only happen if one works for them.

If you are like I am and you want a job then look for one, and be aggressive in your search. Revise your CV and send it out to the companies you WANT to work for. Ask as many people as possible if they can help you reach the goal you are trying to reach; there is no shame in asking. If they can help you they probably will and if they can’t then there is always another way. After all, all roads will lead you to Rome if that is the place you want to be.

If the idea of getting started scares you like it does me, start small by writing a daily to do list. Think of each task and not the overall picture or final goal. Compose the list before you sleep or in the morning as soon as you wake. As you go through your day working on the tasks tick them off.  

He who has begun has the work half done!

Find Yourself.. Don't Settle

Many people have no idea what they want to do with their life. They just accept whatever they get. Work at any job that comes their way even if they hate it. Marry the first person that comes along just because it is an available option. I did that for a little while. I hated it!! I had no idea who I was, what I liked, or even what I wanted. I settled for whatever came along. When in university I studied accounting! The most boring subject because people pushed me to do it. When I graduated I worked at a bank; I have to say I had never been more stressed and bored. Bored, not only with my work but also with who I had turned into. I woke up every morning dreading the fact that I had to go into work. I fell asleep one night with a single thought in my head "no amount of money is worth me feeling the way I feel everyday".

I woke up, and quit!

I had decided then and there that I wanted to do something in fashion. I love clothes, shoes, and finding amazing stores that no one had even heard of. Finding items that were unique. I loved colours lots of colour in my life, and sketching in the mornings-a cup of coffee in my hand with the windows open and the cool breeze coming in. All of which I couldn't do if I were still at my old job. Where I couldn't leave my desk for long enough to get myself a decent cup of coffee, I couldn't open the windows of my dark, dingy, grey office as they were nailed shut!! 

Suddenly I was free. I could breath. I could explore what I wanted to do with my life! It was so scary but an invigorating feeling rushed through me. I was scared of the idea of being penniless; my pride wouldn't allow me to ask my parents for any money. Luckily I've saved up a little, and could live on it until another job or opportunity came along. This time I would be more picky about what I chose.

It's an amazing time in my life! A great opportunity to reinvent myself. The self I once lost..

Don't Fight

I am 25 and I only just realise that some things aren’t worth fighting for. Friends that keep rubbing yours exs in your face must be Xed. Random people that enter your life and quietly lay in the background are not actually your friends; DELETE. Friends that expect you to be their friend with benefits; OUT! And those losers that enter your life and send you mixed signals-because they have secret girlfriends; Run! As fast as you little legs can carry you.  Don’t ever look back.

Your life has to be about you!  And its okay to be selfish once in a while. Take some time to think which people are worth keeping. Go through your blackberry lists, iphones and other personal communication devices and get rid of the extra baggage. Its scary but it is totally worth it because it makes moving forward with life easier than it would otherwise be.

Today I did just that; I went through my blackberry and deleted all the people I kept around out of fear of being alone! I deleted the people that aren’t really my friends (the ones that should be on facebook not my personal phone).  The decision to delete some was so easy. It’s those who I gave importance to that were difficult to get rid of.

It was totally worth it!

After doing all of this my life finally has a higher standard! So I took a few minutes to breath and take it in. I will only allow a certain calibre of people in. Those who care, ask, listen, are there, and more importantly friends you can depend on, to stand by you when all things fall apart.